Lately I have been working hard on finding my right path in life. It is an effort that for a while was really eating at me and actually starting to make me feel a little crazy. You see I am convinced that I was put here on this Earth to do something big. Something that will make a difference to others. Originally I thought I could do this with my pen - so I studied journalism. But I am not working as a journalist. Sure I am writing but I am doing technical writing. So I told myself to find my right path through volunteer work - I coached hockey, I volunteered at a school, I taught taekwon-do and I did some volunteer writing.
Still, not satisified. I really feel that I'm here to make a difference. Not cure for cancer difference, but still something huge. I just really don't know how I'm supposed to do it. For a while I was convinced I had missed my sign - that I wasn't working hard enough to find that one thing that was going to let me make my mark. To make a difference.
This really stressed me out. To the point where I was not very happy - convinced I had messed up and the plan was shot to hell.
But after some soul searching and conversations, I have realized that it is really the small things that I do, that make a difference as well. In the last week I have had two people tell me that I inspire them. Wow - did I feel awesome.
But still deep down I'm looking for that big thing - what is it? where can I find it? how will I recognize it? I believe that whatever it is will involve writing, so I'm making myself write as much as I can - in hopes that I will discover my path.
I don't know if I'm the only person who deals with this issue - of what am I "really" supposed to be doing here? I don't want to live a life of mediocrity - I want to grab life, live it to its fullest and make a difference along the way.
I guess I have to keep doing what I'm doing and hopefully before it is not too late I will see clearly what it is I'm missing.